Love is Pain
by somewhere no one is watching
Summary: Scully and Mulder reveal their true feelings one night (Dogget doesn't exist mwahahaha). My very first fic so please be gentle as it is a bit stupid (i have no idea what i am doing :P)


Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine (if they were this story would have happened YEARS ago)  
Authors Note: This is my very very very first fanfic so please don't give me mean reviews! (they seriously damage my non-existent self esteem). CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome though (and nice stuff of course).  
PS: I suck at paragraphing stuff as I usually just write it straight through and then never let anybody read it and never look at it again. I hope it's ok to read and I apologise for my stupidity :P   
  
Love is Pain  
  
Scully paused at Mulder's door before knocking to flick a piece of troublesome hair out of her face with a flick of her head. Her hair was rather messy and her outfit slightly crumpled as they were the clothes she kept at the hospital in case she had to go somewhere in a hurry. She had just completed 3 autopsies and mountains of paperwork and was so exhausted she thought she might drop. Mulder hadn't asked her over but she knew he would want to know about the bodies she had examined so she had come over with a large pile of papers in her hands. She skillfully balanced them on one arm and knocked on the door. After a few moments, the door was opened by her partner and she staggered in, dropping the pile onto the table and collapsing into a chair.   
Mulder shut the door and sat opposite her. "These are the test results?" he asked excitedly and, not waiting for a reply, started rifting through the first file, not appearing to notice the lines of fatigue drawn all over his partners beautiful face. Only when she began to cough did he look up in alarm. "Jesus Scully, are you okay?" he said anxiously, mentally scolding himself for letting his goddamned search for the truth jeapordise his partner's health, his best friend's health. "I'm so sorry Scully. How can I be so selfish?" he said, running into the kitchen to get her a glass of water. When he came out, he found Scully with her head in her hands, sobbing. Mulder put the glass on the table beside her and stood behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders and gently massaging them. Scully tensed and then gave way to his persistent rubbings but kept her head in her hands on the table and every so often a sob escaped her. Mulder gently massaged her shoulders until all the tension had gone then gently caressed her neck and moved his hands up to massage her head. he ran his fingers through her hair, and felt a sudden urge to kiss her smooth, pale neck but contented himself with caressing it once more.   
Scully couldn't remember the last time someone had touched her like that and she couldn't keep the pain inside anymore. She started to sob uncontrollably, trying to hold back and then Mulder's arms were around her and she let it all go, let the tears of 9 years of pain finally escape.   
Mulder held her tight and she clung to him desperately, her face pressed into his chest. After a long while the sobs ceased and Mulder smoothed back her hair and gently tilted her head up towards him. "Are you okay now?" he asked gently and she nodded. Scully pulled away from their embrace and walked into the bathroom, splashing her face with cold water. She walked back out and straight into Mulder's arms. "Hold me?" she said timidly and sighed as she felt his arms wrap around her once more, holding her safe against him. They stood like that for quite a while, until Scully pulled away from her partner and went to leave his apartment. Her hand closed around the door handle before Mulder realised and he begged her to stay. "I know you won't sleep tonight. I never sleep so at least we can keep each other company. What do you say? Curl up on the couch with a hot choccy?" he smiled and Scully smiled weakly back. "Okay," she whispered finally.   
A little while later, they sat on the couch together, Scully leaning against Mulder, hot chocolates warming their hands. They talked about everything and anything and Scully gradually felt the pain recede more and more until she even laughed at one of Mulder's witty comments. Mulder looked at her in surprise. She looked back at him and it was as if time froze. Scully's clear blue eyes stared into Mulder's rich, brown ones and they felt drawn together by some invisible force. Closer and closer they came until their noses were almost touching, their breaths mingling into one. Mulder slowly reached up a hand and caressed Scully's cheek and she smiled, lips slightly parted. Slowly they closed the tiny gap between them and their lips met. It felt as if an explosion took place within them, all their senses heightening until the merest touch set them on fire. The soft kiss deepened and grew more passionate until they finally broke away, breathing deeply. "Scully, I ...." Mulder began but Scully put her fingers gently over his lips and whispered softly, "I know." But Mulder took her small hand in his and gently pulled it away, saying, "Please, just let me say it. Scully... Dana, I'm so sorry for dragging you along with me on my searches for the truth. You've lost so much and it's all because of me. I've put you through so much pain and heartache. How can I ever make it up to you?" Scully looked at him and smiled sadly. "Mulder, I've lost a lot but I've gained one thing that has kept me going through the bad times, made me smile when I was down. Always been there for me. You, Mulder. You're the most important thing in my life. Everything I do is tied up around you, my job, my life. I ... I love you." Scully said softly. Mulder smiled and answered softly, "I love you too. You have saved me so many times, in more ways than one and I don't think I'd be able to thank you enough if I had 10 lifetimes." "All we need is this moment Mulder," said Scully, leaning in to kiss him once more. Their kiss became more and more passionate as they sank to the floor, smiling.  
The next morning, Scully woke up to find herself in her partner's arms and smiled, snuggling closer to him and drifting back to sleep.  



End file.
